just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
