Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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