just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize