Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
