the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
