Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
