You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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