i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Floor bacon is actually really good
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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