She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
