I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
