i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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