You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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