Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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