Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
