glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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