I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
