I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
