Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
