Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
