who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your dad touched me again.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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