He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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