im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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