just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
