So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
