Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize