We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
