I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
