Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
