Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
