Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
