Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This is my gift to your gina
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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