I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
nutella sex= disaster
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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