you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
