somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
