Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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