After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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