My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
