i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
