At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize