Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The air was thick with penises
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize