babies were throwing up all over the place
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
