Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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