you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
