OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ttyl tear gas
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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