i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
