Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize