We're facebook friends in real life
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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