Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize