Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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