hell yes lets make some ravioli
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
