I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
