My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
