yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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