OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
