Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
