Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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