Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize