How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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