haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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