just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
