if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
