Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize