I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
