What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
did you just send me my own nude
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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