That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
