I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize